ROBERT - Oh, shit!

The other one -- PIERRE -- looks up.

PIERRE - What is it?
ROBERT - I'm late.
PIERRE - Late?
ROBERT - Yeah, I need to be somewhere right now.
PIERRE - Right now?
ROBERT - Well, not right now. I have to be there in ten minutes, but as it will take me ten minutes to get there, I might as well say I need to be there right now.
PIERRE - Well, if that’s the case, then why don’t you say you need to leave right now?
ROBERT - Hey, that’s even better. I need to leave right now.
PIERRE - Yes.

Pause. ROBERT doesn’t leave.

PIERRE - You need to leave right now.
ROBERT - Yes.
PIERRE (trying it with a little more emphasis) - Right now.
ROBERT - Yes.
PIERRE (sighs) - Robert.
ROBERT - Yes?
PIERRE - LEAVE!!!

ROBERT is stunned by this outburst, but it gets the message across.

ROBERT - Oh, right.

He leaves. Blackout.

This was written for the Brick Playhouse's Night of 1000 Plays, presented January 1998, which goes a long way toward explaining why it's so freaking short. Incidentally, this was performed in the 1998 Philadelphia Fringe Festival as part of Said and Done, And Three Other Plays.

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P.S. All materials on this page are copyright 1998 by Craig J. Clark, in case you didn't know.