1 - And the crabs say, "We can’t be canonized. We’re too selfish." (pause, no response) The crabs say, "We can’t be canonized. We’re two shellfish!"
2 - (not laughing) Ah, I get it.
1 - Sure you do.

Doorbell rings. 1 gets up to answer the door, which is offstage. 2 shakes his head.

2 - (quietly, to himself) I don’t get it.

1 returns and takes his seat. He gives a whistle and shows a card to 2.

2 - I see. Who was that?
1 - I’m not going to tell you.
2 - Tell me what?

1 places a comforting hand on 2’s arm.

1 - Friend, this is goodbye.
2 - Well, that’s a surprise. I mean, you’ll tell me that, but not--
1 - (pointing in the direction of the door) Some guy calling to tell me the world is round.

The phone rings. 1 answers it.

2 - But you already know that.

1 - I know. (into phone) Hello?
2 - (in his own world) Sometimes I just don’t understand this world.
1 - You don’t need to tell me that.
2 - People just don’t communicate anymore.
1 - (hanging up, annoyed) Some people can be so rude.
2 - Who was that?
1 - (lost in his own world) Who was that?
2 - (turns away, annoyed at being ignored) Some people can be so rude.
1 - People just don’t communicate anymore.
2 - You don’t need to tell me that.
1 - (quietly, to himself) Nothing makes sense anymore.
2 - Sorry, I can’t hear you.
1 - Sometimes I just don’t understand this world.
2 - I know. (waves hand in front of 1’s face) Hello?
1 - (snapping out of it) But...you already know that.

Phone rings. 2 answers it. After a second, he covers the receiver.

2 - Some guy calling to tell me the world is round.
1 - Well, that’s a surprise. I mean, you’ll tell me that, but not--
2 - (angrily, into phone) Friend, this is goodbye.

He hangs up.

1 - Tell me what--
2 - I’m not going to tell you.
1 - I see... Who was that?

2 mimes something incomprehensible. At the end of it, he whistles something.

1 - I don’t get it.
2 - Sure you do.

Doorbell rings. 2 starts to get up.

1 - Ah! I get it.

1 leaves. 2, alone, starts repeating the punchline of the joke to himself, slowly getting it.

2 - And the crabs say, "We can’t be canonized. We’re too selfish." (pause, starts to giggle) The crabs say, "We can’t be canonized. We’re two shellfish!"

He laughs uncontrollably. The Bach piece sneaks in again and plays underneath. Suddenly, 2 realizes something and stops.

2 - Wait.

The music stops.

2 - Crabs are crustaceans. Blackout.

This is one of two "Structure" plays I wrote for the Brick Playhouse's second annual Night of 1000 Plays. Written first, this is the one that didn't got in. The other, "Structure: Loopy" probably looked downright normal in comparison.