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                  SAM AND JOE DON'T GET LAID
         (or: "Gorgo Tell It On The Mountain of Rubble")
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      a one-act play by Joe Blevins (joeblev@concentric.net)
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                  based on the movie "Gorgo"
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[Lights up.  Curtain rises.  The backdrop depicts the city of London
in ruins.  We see the still-recognizable remains of Big Ben in the
background.  There is debris scattered on the stage.]
 
[SAM and JOE, two ill-tempered, slow-thinking, seagoing men, enter.
They stare at the rubble that was once London.  The moment is, to say
the least, a bit awkward.  The men are silent for a while, not really
knowing what to say.]
 
SAM: So...
JOE: [nodding] So.
 
[A long pause here.]
 
SAM: Looks like the whole idea to bring Gorgo to London kind of 
     backfired on us. 
JOE: Looks that way.
SAM: That mother of his sort of, uh, left London in ruins.
JOE: Yup.
 
[They look around, embarrassed.]
 
SAM: There sure is a lot of wreckage and debris.
JOE: Oh yeah.  Plenty of wreckage.  And debris.

[Pause.]  

JOE: Say, Sam...
SAM: Yeah, Joe?
JOE: You think we'll be kicked out of that trailer at the carnival?
SAM: I dunno.  Why do you ask?
JOE: Well, seeing as how we were there because of Gorgo and every-
     thing, and...
SAM: Oh, right!  Right.  The destruction and the killing...
JOE: ...And so on.  So, what do you think?  Should we pack, or...?
SAM: I think that might be a good idea.  We've probably worn out our
     welcome there.

[Sam suddenly notices something offstage.]

SAM: Hey, what's that over there?
 
[Sam points at something offstage.  Joe squints to look.]
 
JOE: Hmmm... looks to be an angry mob.
SAM: I think you might be right.  What do you suppose they want? 
JOE: [casually] Oh, they're probably just upset about the whole
     "Gorgo's mother destroying London" incident.
SAM: [mental lightbulb goes on] Oh, yeah!  The killing, and the
     wreckage, and so forth!

[Pause.]

SAM: Say, Joe, you don't think they're mad at US or anything, do ya?
JOE: I think it's a distinct possibility, Sam.  Hey, look!   They've
     got that Dorkin guy with them!

[Sam looks.]
 
SAM: Uh, that's just his head, Joe.
JOE: Oh.  Wonder what they're doing with that.
SAM: Looks like they're playing volleyball with it.
JOE: Whoops!  [pointing] There's the rest of his body. 

[A look of disgust comes over their faces.]

SAM: B-but... what are they doing with it?
 
[Sam and Joe apparently see something horrific.  They wince and turn
away in horror.]
 
SAM: Oh, that was disgusting!
JOE: Simply uncalled for!
SAM: [miffed] Okay, that does it.  We'll go back to the trailer, pack
     up our belongings...
JOE: Be careful with my Precious Moments figurines.
SAM: You and your Precious Moments figurines, Joe!  Anyhow, we'll leave
     the first thing in the morning.
JOE: I'd say that's an excellent idea, Sam.  Because I for one will
     not stand for this kind of rude...

[At that moment, an ANGRY MOB, wielding clubs and torches, enters.  
They close in on Sam and Joe.  We hear our two heroes whimpering in
fear.]

[Lights slowly dim to black. Curtain falls.]

                            [THE END]