===================================================================== THE PRINCE OF SPACE CHILDREN ===================================================================== a one-act play by Craig J. Clark (cjclark@earthlink.net) ===================================================================== based on the movies "Prince of Space" and "The Space Children" ===================================================================== [Lights up on a cave. More specifically, it is _the_ cave from the movie "The Space Children." And, lo and behold, all of the radiant Space Children are present. There's BUD, KEN, stepfatherless TIM, EDIE, BUSTER, GEORGE and HELEN. They are staring at the large, glowing brain-blob thing which is sitting in the middle of the floor, undulating. This play is set during the middle third of the movie, so the BLOB is not huge, but it is large enough for a person to fit inside. Anyway, BUD -- the self-appointed leader of the Space Children, is nodding his head.] BUD: Uh huh. Uh huh. Uh huh. Okay, we know what to do. [BUD leads the way and all of the children follow him out of the cave. This leaves the BLOB all by itself. After a few moments, Japan's national hero, PRINCE OF SPACE, prances into the cave.] PRINCE OF SPACE: Aha! Got you alone at last! I don't know what you've done to those children, but your mind-control is useless against me! [So saying he leaps around while nothing in particular happens. There is no music, no lighting effects. The BLOB appears to be doing nothing. Still, PRINCE OF SPACE insists on jumping around, swinging his cape as he evades the blob's "mind control." He stops for a moment.] PRINCE OF SPACE: I told you, your mind-control is useless against me. [He starts to leap around again, but the BLOB interrupts him.] BLOB: Oh, knock it off, Prince of Space. I'm not even _trying_ my mind control powers on you. PRINCE OF SPACE: [unsure] You're not? BLOB: No. PRINCE OF SPACE: [deflated] Oh... Well, still. I am here to stop whatever it is you think you're doing here. BLOB: Doing here? I'm just sitting in this cave. What are you talking about? [PRINCE OF SPACE paces around the BLOB, sizing it up.] PRINCE OF SPACE: Don't play dumb with me. You're not the first being from outer space to try to steal one of Earth's powerful new rockets. BLOB: Steal? I don't want to steal the Thunderer. PRINCE OF SPACE: You don't? BLOB: No, I want to steal the minds of Earth's children! PRINCE OF SPACE: Well, I'll-- [PRINCE OF SPACE finds a small boulder and attempts to lift it; nothing doing. Instead, he moves on to a large rock. He holds it over his head, triumphantly] PRINCE OF SPACE: I'll put a stop to that! [Suddenly the children run onstage, with BUD in the lead.] BUD: No, don't! PRINCE OF SPACE: Stand back, children. I will set you free! [He hefts the rock, ready to throw it. This time we hear the music and see the lighting effects of the BLOB doing its thing. PRINCE OF SPACE laughs.] PRINCE OF SPACE: Ha ha ha! How many times do I have to tell you your mind control is useless against me? [Suddenly he is surrounded by the children, who block him.] BUD: I am sorry, Prince of Space, but we cannot allow it to come to any harm. PRINCE OF SPACE: Oh, and how do you intend to do that? BUD: Simple, there is one of you, but there are seven of us. We're just going to use our greater numbers to kick your ass. [They attack as one and, indeed, start kicking the crap out of the hapless PRINCE OF SPACE, who drops his rock harmlessly.] PRINCE OF SPACE: Children, what are you doing? Can't you see that this is what the thing wants? EDIE: Yes, and we're enjoying it! [They continue to kick the crap out of him. Meanwhile, the BOY and GIRL from the short "Century 21 Calling" enter the cave, pointing and gawking. They ignore the melee and instead walk right up to where the BLOB is.] GIRL: Gee, what sort of telephonic device do you think this is? BOY: I don't know. It looks kind of like a brain. GIRL: Hey! Maybe this is the electronic brain that the lady was telling us about. BOY: It could be. Hey, are you an electric brain developed by Bell Laboratories to help bring communications into the 21st Century? BLOB: No, I am one of several brain-blob things from outer space sent here to cripple the world's self-defense capabilites so we can take over more easily. BOY: Oh, okay. Let's go. [The BOY and GIRL start to leave.] BLOB: No, wait! Join your sisters and brothers in pummeling that interloper, Prince of Space! [The BOY and GIRL stop and turn to face the BLOB.] GIRL: Sorry, but we serve only the Phone Company. [They exit. The BLOB sighs and addresses the children he does have control over.] BLOB: All right. I think that's enough. Let him be. [The children withdraw and PRINCE OF SPACE looks in terrible shape. His dorky outfit is all ripped and torn and he has a bloody nose.] BLOB: Now help him up. [BUD and TIM help PRINCE OF SPACE up and support him. Thus weakened, he is more susceptible to the BLOB's will.] BLOB: There. Now, Prince of Space. I want you to go back to your country and your bootblacking. Forget about this notion of being a superhero. You like being an ordinary bootblack. As a matter of fact, you like it very much. PRINCE OF SPACE: [dazed] I like it very much. BLOB: Good, now get him out of here. [BUD and TIM escort PRINCE OF SPACE out. When BUD and TIM return, the BLOB addresses all of them.] BLOB: Right, now you know what to do, right? CHILDREN: Yes, space blob. BLOB: Good, now get out there and get staring. [As the children exit, there is a quick fade to black.] T H E E N D ===================================================================== THE ONE-ACT PLAYS BASED ON NINTH SEASON MST3K EPISODES BEFORE JOE BLEVINS STARTED WRITING THEM ===================================================================== [901] The Alan Parsons Projected Man [902] Phantom Planet, Schmanet or: The Next-to-the-Last of the Dogmen [903] Strong Enough for a Puma Man... [904] Where Wolf? There Wolf! [905] The Deadly B-Sides [816/906] The Prince of Space Children [907] Hobgoblins 2: The Grue Batch [908] Analyze What? or: The Bad Touch of Satan If you missed any of these one-act plays, they are now archived at http://home.earthlink.net/~cjclark/mstplays.htm Thanks to Joe Blevins for originating the MST one-act play concept and not guarding it jealously when I first broached the idea of penning a few of them myself. Thanks also to those of you who saw fit to give me feedback over the past two and a half months. I'll be taking a bit of break from them for now, but -- like Joe Blevins -- I promise to return with some "blasts from the past."