This was one of those movies for which I had several ideas.  Here's a
brief summary of an alternate idea for "I Accuse My Parents."

[Lights up.  Curtain rises to reveal game show set.  The host is 
HAPPY-CHEF Al Frasier, and the three contestants are: OLIVER STONE,
REV. AL SHARPTON, and our very own JIMMY WILSON.]

HAPPYCHEF: Hello, and welcome to "J'Accuse," the game show where we
           name various tragic events in history, and you assess the
           blame for them.  If you pin the rap on the correct culprit,
           you could win today's GRAND PRIZE.  Tell them about it,
           Don Pardo!

[On a video monitor, we see a picture of a hamburger and fries.]

PARDO: Yes, today's grand prize is this juicy, delicious hamburger
       sandwich cooked just the way you like it!  Plenty onions!!!
       And that's not all.  You also get a side dish of golden
       brown French-fried potatoes!  Back to you, Al!

[Picture disappears.]

HAPPYCHEF: Okay, contestants, let's get started.  Your first tragedy
           is the Bubonic Plague that ravaged mideval Europe.

[Oliver Stone buzzes in.]

STONE: I accuse the CIA...
HAPPYCHEF: I'm sorry.  That's not correct.
STONE: I wasn't finished.  I accuse the CIA, LBJ, the Mafia, two of
       the three major networks, Cantinflas...
HAPPYCHEF: I'm sorry.  You're still not right.
STONE: This is a conspiracy that reaches all the way to the top! 
       We're through the looking glass, people.

[Al Sharpton buzzes in.]

SHARPTON: The white devil!
HAPPYCHEF: Please phrase your answer in the form of an accusation.
SHARPTON: Oh, sorry.  I accuse the white devil of spreading this 
          disease and then having the gall to call it the BLACK death!
HAPPYCHEF: Judges...?

[Sound: buzzer.]

HAPPYCHEF: Sorry, Reverend Sharpton.  Not specific enough.
SHARPTON: Typical!

[Jimmy Wilson rings in.]

JIMMY: I know I probably shouldn't say this, but...
HAPPYCHEF: Out with it, boy.
JIMMY: I... accuse my parents.

[Pause.]

[Sound: ding! ding!  ding!]

[Cheering and applause.]

HAPPYCHEF: That's correct, Jimmy!  Our research indicates that your
           parents' drinking and carousing was so out of control it
           managed to cause the Black Plauge centuries before they
           were even born.  Congratulations!  The hamburger sandwich
           is yours!
JIMMY: And it's my birthday, too!  Oh happy day!

[French fried potatoes rain down like confetti on the stage.]

PARDO: Stay tuned for "Are You Happy in Your Work" over most of these
       CBS stations.

[Lights dim.  Curtain falls.]

                           [THE END]