Didn't see that one coming


My name: Craig J. Clark. My mission: To make people laugh. My weapons: words, words, words.

Excitement! Animation World Magazine asked me to interview Aqua Teen Hunger Force creators Matt Maiellaro and Dave Willis about their movie, Aqua Teen Hunger Force Colon Movie Film for Theaters. You can read the interview here.

I'm still contributing stories to Unloosen, and I have a LiveJournal, where I write about all of the movies that I see (and I see a lot of movie and you will see). I also have a comic strip called Dada, which is populated by Renaissance statues and paintings, manatees, evil plankton and other strange characters. As time goes by, its oddness astonishes even me sometimes.

If Dada has whetted your appetite (or even if it has put you off it), you may want to check the 30-strip run of my college comic This Happens. Sure, the strips are over a decade old, but that's not stopping Kevin Pease...

Another example of pillaging the past can be seen over at Greg Stephens' comic strip Zwol, where one of my more humble creations appeared on March 24, 2001. Gosh, that was over six years ago (and the strip is even older). Well, check it out anyway.

Coming in fifth on the hit parade is The Olive, the Onion parody Kevin Pease and I concocted for April Fool's Day, 2002. True, it's no longer April 1 and it's well past the point of being 2002 anymore, but you may find its humour is still remarkably fresh.

Inspired by a need which only I was able to perceive, I now have a page of Space Ghost Coast to Coast Transcripts. Of course, I've only transcribed three of the show's episodes, but that's because the other 88 are readily available elsewhere on the web.

Next up is Trust Doesn't Rust, the second MSTing Kevin Pease and I have completed, in which we pit Mike and the bots against the original teleplay of the episode of Knight Rider that introduced KITT's evil twin, KARR. This was timed to coincide with the release of the first season of Knight Rider on DVD last summer. Somebody must have been clamoring for that.

If you dig Trust Doesn't Rust, I also recommend that you read our first MSTing, Artifact, which Kevin and I wrote some years back. A warning to those with virgin eyes: the story to which we applied the MST3K treatment is kind of vile in parts. There is gratuitous swearing throughout and even some fumbling attempts at erotica. But our MSTing is quite funny and merciless, so enjoy. Won't you?

If you're a fan of Mystery Science Theater 3000, be sure to check out The MST3K One-Act Play Project. This is the complete collection of one-act plays written by myself and Joe Blevins as companion pieces to episodes of the series. They were originally only for the benefit of those who read the newsgroup rec.arts.tv.mst3k.misc, but now all can share and enjoy.

Next up is The Best Films of 2004, my annual wrap-up of the films that tickled my fancy this past calendar year. I've also written these for 2001, 2002 and 2003. In addition, there are my Half-Time Reports for 2003 and 2004.

Continuing in a cinematic vein, you can check out my list of user comments at the Internet Movie Database. I mostly reserve my comments for incredibly obscure films, but you'd expect that if you knew me. Suffice to say, if you go looking for my views on Titanic or Sleeping in Seattle, you're going to come away disappointed. If, however, you want to find out what I think of the films of Richard Lester, Steven Soderbergh, Woody Allen and the like, you'll have a little more luck.

For you film buffs, there's also Craig J. Clark's Totally Trivial David Cronenberg Cross-over Page -- with info up to and including Cronenberg's 2000 Toronto Film Festival short, Camera. I had hoped I could add to it after the release of 2003's Spider, but alas, that was not to be. I have made a couple of minor adjustments in light of the release of Fast Company on DVD, though.

If you're into more serious film studies, here is a paper I wrote in college about the films of Terry Gilliam. It only covers up to The Fisher King, so it doesn't even touch stuff like 12 Monkeys and Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas (or even, cough, The Man Who Killed Don Quixote), but it's a decent enough read.

In addition to what I've already listed, I also write plays, poems, screenplays, comedy sketches, short stories, novels (well, really only one novel so far) and anything else that happens to strike my fancy. To find out more about my writing, you can use the links provided above.

Being a writer (as opposed to Being from Another Planet), I have rather an overactive imagination. (You may have already guessed this.) Well, one of the products of this overactivity was the creation of a web-footed alter ego named Craig J. Quack. He started showing up in my life some time in college and you can visit his domain by clicking on this little guy:

Or not. It's really up to you. That's why you have free will, don'tcha know.
For more evidence, you can read all about how my obsession with ducks got started by clicking on this one:
Don't listen to him. He's a daft bugger. Our lives are determined from day one.

If you've reached this point on the page and you want to have some idea of the sort of people I hang out with and the sorts of bands I like, then check out the ever-evolving Links page.

Another way of finding out the sorts of bands I like is by checking out this list of every CD that I own, which is constantly being added to. You will notice that I did not number them because I do not feel like giving myself a heart attack. You're more than welcome to count them if you like.

Well, that's it. Everything else on this site is on another page, so git.